Trust


What I love about Professor Harrell is the way he values us as artists, despite our lack of knowledge and experience in dance. Whenever he talks to us, I see only passion and genuineness to share his stories and philosophy about dance in his eyes, and no trace of any judgment for our imperfections.

I have always loved dancing. But I also always had, and still do, insecurity about dancing—choreographing and improvising especially. The flow of my movements was interrupted by the doubt that trickled in my mind. I was afraid to bring the movements in my head to life, partly because I lack the technique, but also because of the uncertainty of how ‘good’ my choreography is.

Of course, I am not a trained dancer and I have immense space for improvisation, but I was too caught up with the technicality of dance, how difficult and impressive a move is and all, rather than remaining focused on what I want to show and ‘say’ through dance. The Martha Graham text that Professor Harrell shared with us in class reminded me of this: “···there is only one of you in all of the time, this expression is unique.···. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you.” She was right. I don’t even have to start evaluating my work while I dance. I just have to dance it, and let the rest of the thinking follow after.

This offered me enough liberation, but Professor Harrell’s action of crumpling the paper of the text provided me with another gateway to confidence. He said, “No one can see the world as you do,” and that just because Martha Graham said it, it doesn’t mean that I should blindly follow her advice. He saved the drowning voice of my creativity from the sea of advice and should’s from great dancers, as well as my own judgments. I will try to trust my instincts more, be more confident, and of course, polish up my dance tools and skills to be better prepared to welcome “the freedom to follow impulse and the intelligence of the moment” through improvisation (Jonathan Burrows).