The movement dancing class with Ondrej, in one word, was “amazing”! I had the opportunity to collaborate with other people in the class. I felt more comfortable than yesterday. Yesterday, I felt that I had my own space in the class where I was trying to build a comfort zone for myself where I can just individually and freely express my internal thoughts. However, today, I established a place among my peers. For example, we repeated the blind exercise today but with different partners. I felt different compared to yesterday. Yesterday, my imagination was blank because I was trying to follow the person who is guiding me by feeling their hands. However, today, in my imagination, I was viewing and imaging the follower’s facial expressions and body movement whether my peer is dancing, walking, smiling, and etc.

Trajal’s introduction about getting lost and jumping around to experience more, inspired me because I am a person who hates multitasking. I can not focus on more than one thing at a time. However, when we discussed “Paris is Burning” after practicing Trajal’s voguing choreography, I started to build connections and understand more about gender, dominance, and realness. Moreover, it was interesting when the discussion started to revolve around gender and realness. A question that stuck into my mind was “what is ‘natural’ means for the people in the ball ? are they acting naturally? what is like to be natural?”. In the beginning, I thought they are acting naturally but when I recalled the struggles I confronted to make the “neutral body” expressions when I was on spot. When you are placed on the spot, you cannot be natural. The ball in “Paris is Burning” has an artificial environment where people are dressed up, wearing makeup and costumes. From my point of view, I deduced that they are not natural but they reflect realness because their behavior went through the process of modification. They constructed their bodies for their own desires, satisfaction, joy, as well for some other purposes.  From my understanding, to be natural means to reflect an innate behavior. Still, the term “natural” is unclear and it might be interpreted differently by other people.  In addition to this, Trajal’s thoughts on “Paris is Burning” plus some of my peers’ thoughts left many scars in my mind “space”; in other words, their thoughts exposed me to other perspectives and expanded my thoughts.

The lecture started by discussing the difference between sex and gender. Basically, sex is of biological basis whereas gender is performative as it is shaped by society and culture. Professor Deb’s statement that different cultures have different gender systems made me think about the gender system in the UAE and how is it different from other systems of other cultures. When I thought of the gender system in the UAE, I related to how and where I have been raised. Based on how I grew up, it is seen that gender equals sex. The exaggerated feminine behavior Professor Deb present made me think that gender is not about being “female” or “male”, it is about identity. Gender is about presenting yourself. This brings up the connection between art and gender. The space in art is limitless but to present yourself, you have to have and make a place for people. This is part of experience and experimenting.