Today’s “somatic and physical” dance lesson seemed to focus more on the relaxation part rather than the exploration of our body. “Remember to breathe. Breathe in, and then slowly breathe out.”  Mr. Ondrej emphasized “our breathe” multiple time throughout the exercises. This reminded me that my coach has told me the way how we breathe will affect the overall quality of one’s performance. Without Mr. Ondrej’s reminder, I would not be conscious on my breathing tempo. The simplest thing was often the most important but easily got forgotten. It was such a simple and usual thing for us since we do it every single second. We effortlessly do the action to a stage that it is difficult for us to see it as an element for being truly relax. Other than that, I enjoyed the leader/follower exercise way more than yesterday. Tegan has led me well and offered a lot of variations in the movements. More trust was elaborated, and I tried to sense the little change she delivered to me through her hands while walking. I felt grateful that the result we had was more like two people “dancing” rather than just “moving” together.

Starting off the class, Professor Trajal mentioned he enjoyed the state of being “lost,” which I feel I can somehow related to. I constantly felt lost, wondering who really am I and what is the goal of my life. Of course, sometimes it frustrates me, especially when people in this university seemed to be certain about what they want. It, however, gives me joy because the answer may be different from time to time. Like he said, we are all unique in a way that no one can see the world like us, so do not ever feel embarrassed or shame about your view and objective. In the discussion of “Paris is Burning,” I understand more about the concept of vogue, gender, and realness as the conversation elaborated. I simply admire the beauty of the vogue dance moves before. Now, knowing the history and culture behind is breaking down the construction of the power of social rule and reassigning the concept of gender (though the idea of realness cannot be truly transcended since voguer’s “imitation” is an illusion), it became even more intriguing to me. And for the runway piece “It is Thus”, I appreciate that we have the opportunity of an observation to others, and the meaning of the choreography has slowly became clear. Each movement has its essential role and significant meaning to be existed in the piece: standing in neutral body, walking, posing, gazing, and revealing the attitude. Still, I am confused about the term “natural” because every person can interpret this word differently according to their social norms and past experiences.

“What is dance?” was yesterday’s question; today, “What is gender?” Professor Debra revolved the main idea of the discussion around the gender concept that Judith Butler has proposed. I am aware that these two terms have different meaning by somehow, but I have zero knowledge to explain the difference between them. As Professor Debra said, my mind has naturalized gender and sex the same definition due to my background. Especially in East Asia, the impression of how each sex should “suppose to behave” has been fixed strongly. Professor Debra had offered a concise explanation to us that I can now distinguished between those two. Sex is considered as a more biological way, an anatomical part that you are born to be. Nevertheless, gender is a “repetitively performative act” that shapes through the social construction and discipline (your cultural background as in general); therefore, choreography is a way to intervene this concept of gender. When something that repeats over and over again and suddenly someone inserts different codes into the repetitive action, it is an action that consciously throw a branch to the dominant system of sex. To end the journal, I would like to input a quote by Susanne K. Longer. “No art suffers more misunderstanding, sentimental judgement, and mystical interpretation than the art of dancing.” And yes, because of this, I really look forward to exploring it thoroughly in the near future.