Since the day I was born, I view life as a piece of art. I enjoy meditating and observing the nature around us. I enjoy taking pictures, writing poetry, drawing, imagining, and etc. I hate copying other people and I do not enjoy conformity at all. I love to spend more time with my inner self. It sounds stupid and psycho but sometimes, I stare at the mirror and start to talk to myself because I am so different than what people think about me. Most of them view me as a shy, coward, friendless, antisocial and a boring person. I am going to say the truth “I am shy but not boring, not coward, and not antisocial” but because I am shy, my true-self is not obvious to everyone. I do not have any idea “why”. Unfortunately, sometimes, I get demotivated because of people’s judgments. I try to make this nonsense to not invade the beauty of my internal self. However, I started to see some changes in myself as I dive deeper into this course.

When we read Martha Graham in Trajal’s class, I started to associate myself with her. But Trajal’s words were really empowering; his statement that no one can take your creativity from you no matter what, give me the courage to express my creativity without even thinking about people’ judgments and opinions about me. I was really surprised by my action in the Runaway exercise with my peers, I finally showed out the entertaining and vivid self that lives inside me. I enjoy being creative because creativeness is a tool to understand yourself more because no one in this universe will understand you as much as you understand yourself. In some ways, creativity leads you to many more judgments because it is different and you are viewing different perspectives than others. You might also be alienated from this universe because no one can understand what you are trying to convey. This is sad but Trajal’s action of crumbling, unfolding, and flattening the piece of paper in a repetitive sequence, helped in depicting that anything that distracts your connection between your creativity and yourself is a piece of trash.

To conclude, I am trying to change myself not because of people’s judgments, it is all for myself. By being brave and courageous, I will be stronger with greater capabilities to achieve what I want and confront the challenges that will block my path.

I hope and believe that this course will give me the opportunity to express my creativity to other people. I will face many challenges to express this creativity because it is hard to express the creativity inside me only with words. =)