How does one know in what way to ‘speak’ to an audience with his body, dance movements and individual interpretation of well-known dance piece? This question haunts all day since we were in class with Trajal and some of my colleagues were performing their propositions on voguing and postmodernism as one. Thoughts on my body, its capabilities and restrictions, sense of performance space and what message I want to deliver through both my proposition and archiving of Kazuo Ohno’s piece Admiring La Argentina kept me on my toes hours and hours today until I finally stepped into the studio tonight and got myself working on the dance pieces I am planning to present tomorrow in class. The levels of anxiety, stress, feeling of incompetence, unsavviness, and genuine confusion on what is expected from me as a dancer and how should I go about both task, drastically dropped an almost hour ago (around 9 p.m.). The reason for that I find  in the fact how I self-motivated myself to not widraw,hide,avoid or procrastinate any longer what was inevitable and had to be done, no matter how scary or hard to do it looks in the beginning.

Another aspect of my thinking process on the two dance pieces I am preparing was ‘language’ in a sense of what exactly and in what way I want communicate to the audience as I move around the space with or without any music as a background. Essentially, tackling with this would imply understanding of the meaning implemented into the original work I will be recreating/archiving so as for me to be able to add my personal response to the initial idea of the research of I have done so far about voguing,postmodernism, butoh,etc.  The process of ‘coming up’ with your own, in a way, choreography that combines the first two dance styles mentioned above for the proposition assignment felt easier and even intuitive – the knowledge already gained in Ondrej and Trajal’s class so far with all of the exercises and discussion we had on voguing, performativity,pedestrianism and postmodern dance- was the main reason why it came naturally to me to trust my own body in terms of it mixing those genres together. As far as archiving Ohno’s most famous Admiring La Argentina  I must say it did not came to me with such ease as in the first case of the dance proposition. What I would say about it is that  the hardship of representing Kazuo Ohno’s dance piece stemed from my initial misunderstanding of what precisely I am supposed to do with it – imitate or use a basis of my own dance interpretation of the performance.

Eventually, I found myself finding a way to go about both assignments with a feeling of content. On the other hand, I still catch myself worrying maybe too much of how I will be perceived as I perform tomorrow.