From Ondrej’s class, my brain is seriously doubting itself. The “Second Chance” exercise we did exemplified the point we made in Part Three of class about the difference between interesting and “liking” something. It was incredibly interesting to have to challenge my brain to move in a way it did not want to move. However, did I like it? No!!! It was incredibly frustrating! All I wanted to do was take a step forward. One specific moment I noticed was when I was on the floor, moving forward, I noticed that immediately my brain wanted to “butt-scooch” on the floor to get to my destination. I found myself in a moment of glee. My first thought, for once, was not to just take a step forward! So therefore, I could do just that. But then of course, the purpose of the exercise was not to train my brain not to want to walk normally. But rather, I think, to be comfortable doing the uncomfortable. With that in my brain, I decided that I could not merely just take a step forward because that would still be too obvious. It would give my brain satisfaction and, as much as I hated it, I had to keep my brain frustrated. It is not that I wonder whether a fear of being boring aided my choice in movement. Surely, when you cannot take a step forward, you think about the most interesting movement possible. This class was a challenge, but I got through it and, surprisingly, I wouldn’t mind coming back to this exercise.

There is one specific moment from Trajal’s workshop that truly struck me: When he asked us to all perform our accumulation at the same time throughout the entire space. And so the entire class dispersed in the space and began performing, each facing a different direction, each focused on something different. As I did mine, I realized that my focus was directed towards not running into the wall that was just barely to my left. My piece seemed generally shorter than most other people’s so once I had finished I took a place leaning on that very wall which I had feared, looking out at the sea of girls (and boy) performing something they had created, practices, and collaborated on. Watching them all, I noticed that the energy was very internalized. Everyone seemed focused on what they were doing but, once they ended the accumulation, they would blink a few times and start watching the people around them. Yet nobody noticed that they were being watched. It was an incredible moment of somebody not fearing being boring. Instead, we had no fear. We only had a series of steps to perform and it didn’t matter who we were performing it for or if there was anyone watching. We just had to do it. While previously, our dances have been fraught with not knowing what we’re doing and being nervous to perform it, something seemed more casual about performing together as a big group. It was a good energy that I hope continues to all of my performances and my classmate’s performances.

The last bit of class prompted an incredible discussion about Medea. I have experience with the play, as my high school performed it the first year I attended. However, the discussion we had today truly opened my eyes to how a choreographer can use a play or any other starting point in dance. I am very intrigued in how Trajal and his company will incorporate Medea into their work, but from what I’ve heard so far, I am sad he will not be performing it here on campus. The discussion we had about Medea made me think more about how text can be used in dance. It was interesting to hear my classmates talk about their own thoughts on how Trajal will work with Medea, but I think the most valuable part of the class was my own thoughts and musings in my journal. I wondered about how raw emotion is expressed well through dance and how that will fit the themes of Medea. Additionally, I drew parallels between how Medea is completely powerless in her own relationship, yet she is regarded as the most powerful witch in Ancient Greece. This led me to imagine how these complex images would be represented visually through dance and movement, yet also with Trajal’s use of text and voice. For me, this was a moment without fear of being boring. In class, if I speak aloud, I try to be mindful of what I am saying and if it is necessary/relevant/interesting/etc. However, in my own writing, I do not have this fear. And that produces results that enhance this class greatly for me.