Today I felt the concept of audience the most, because in both classes, Ondrej’s and Trajal’s, we were asked at some point to split in ones and twos and perform with our smaller group; and that gave me not necessarily an anxiety, but something close to that, putting pressure on my movements unconsciously. The fear of being judged and being watched was oftentimes there, even though people in this class are quite the opposite, very accepting and trusting.
For some minds it is very liberating to perform alone, for some it is pressuring. However, I was surprised that when we put on our costumes and performed Voguing, everything felt different than the group exercises – it was like the costume gave me a sort of power, a certain aura that eliminated any pressure, despite the fact that this time we were not even in a group but performing individually. Maybe this is what Trajal was talking about when he talked about the importance of the costume in the early stages of production. Maybe that’s why he assigned us ‘costumes’ for the postmodernist piece as well, in order for us to develop that kind of power through the costume, even if it is our daily clothing. We need to learn to look at those ordinary clothes from a different perspective, to gain energy from them.